Thursday, April 26, 2012

thoughts on baby

before i got pregnant, the thought of someone moving around
inside of me kind of gave me the weebiejeepies.
now it just feels like i have a secret code with my little girl
that no one else knows about.
we aren't saying much to each other, but it's like she is
just saying hi and letting me know she is still there.
just me and only me. i feel special.
(26.5 weeks)
i crocheted her a stuffed owl yesterday.
it was supposed to be a semester long project but it turned
into a blow off the whole day completely and work on that and only that.
it's got some issues and it's a little cross-eyed, 
but hopefully she knows her mom isn't perfect either but sure loves her a lot.

i don't really have anything to report but i feel a lot of peace.
i feel pretty privileged/inadequate to be carrying this baby and
hope and pray every day i don't mess something up.
a lot of people around me are pregnant or with new babies and
it's hard not to just feel like a number, but then if i really stop
and think about it, our little secret code, and our individual little
family that is so sacred and beautiful to me, 
i feel like the only number in the world that matters.

what i am most excited about: seeing matt as a dad. having him be
so supportive and so stinking excited means more to me than i could
ever have imagined.

all photos courtesy of my iphone. 
instagram: @taraphotographics


elise said...

oh my goodness you are just too cute! Just remember: you will learn and continue to learn something new every single day! Hudson is ONE and still feel a little inadequate...but you know what?! I'm pretty sure he loves me more than anything in this world! So happy for you Tara, you guys are going to be amazing parents to the luckiest little girl in the world.

lori said...

what a way to make a mother cry!!! welcome to motherhood, my darling describe the same feelings i have felt and continue to feel. did you know that you and i have a secret code? maybe not...but while bed ridden with you during my and i developed a pretty strong secret code that will last through the eternities! xoxo

Kelly said...

Beautiful post! You're not just a number. That's the hard part about being in Rexburg, but at least you're not going to feel all alone.

Jen Hammer said...

I've been feeling very similar to how you feel about being a number, and I even wondered if I would feel a bond with my baby once I got pregnant. I'm also 26.5 weeks with my first too (but you are so much tinier than me!!). But I am so loving those little kicks and movements just between me and my little boy, it really is like a secret code. I love finding blogs with ladies who are so close in their pregnancies to mine!

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