things making me smile today

fresh peonies from the famers market that smell heavenly

& the surprise of finding hundreds of fresh cherries on the tree 

right outside our apartment door and my cute husband climbing 

to the very tippy top to get the prettiest ones for his giddy wife.

life is good.

recent ramblings

our life lately...

in the next 3 months, i will be a mom, matt will be graduated, and our little life

here will be packed into boxes and moved to start over in a new strange place.

we won't live next door to our best friends or drive by the place we met 

almost everyday anymore.

i have to say goodbye to all my amazing photography clients and 

start over in a new place.

that diploma has been a major bitter sweet thing for me.

our time here in little rexburg, idaho is coming to an end and we are moving on.

i know i am in a huge transition phase in my life and for the first little while, I hated it.

i felt useless and bored. but i think that was my cue to slow down and take everything in.

i am not going to have this part of my life ever again and man it's been wonderful.

things i love about our little life:

1. matt and i hang out till like 1am everyday. i know you are supposed to grow out of that,

and we probably will, but haven't yet. i sincerely enjoy his company every second i can get.

2. birthday surprises that include a perfect night that i want to freeze in my mind forever.

3. buying little girl things that i pull out of the bag over and over and try to imagine 

what she will look like in them. i hug all of her blankets and clothes. a lot.

4. catching matt peak at me when he kisses me. i caught him doing this when we were dating

once and i was like what the heck?! he says he likes looking at me. hah. i'll take it.

5. catching my husband take a picture of me while we were hanging out with friends

cause "he likes my new hair". simple and dumb maybe but i melted.

the laundry and dishes need to be done, photos need to be edited, i probably

should get dressed, find a place to live in august, get my etsy shop up and 

running and go grocery shopping.

but i just needed to take a minute. thanks for letting me share it.

thoughts on baby

before i got pregnant, the thought of someone moving around

inside of me kind of gave me the weebiejeepies.

now it just feels like i have a secret code with my little girl

that no one else knows about.

we aren't saying much to each other, but it's like she is

just saying hi and letting me know she is still there.

just me and only me. i feel special.

(26.5 weeks)

i crocheted her a stuffed owl yesterday.

it was supposed to be a semester long project but it turned

into a blow off the whole day completely and work on that and only that.

it's got some issues and it's a little cross-eyed, 

but hopefully she knows her mom isn't perfect either but sure loves her a lot.

i don't really have anything to report but i feel a lot of peace.

i feel pretty privileged/inadequate to be carrying this baby and

hope and pray every day i don't mess something up.

a lot of people around me are pregnant or with new babies and

it's hard not to just feel like a number, but then if i really stop

and think about it, our little secret code, and our individual little

family that is so sacred and beautiful to me, 

i feel like the only number in the world that matters.

what i am most excited about: seeing matt as a dad. having him be

so supportive and so stinking excited means more to me than i could

ever have imagined.

all photos courtesy of my iphone. 

instagram: @taraphotographics

for no particular reason

i know this is a photography blog but i am just

really grateful so you guys get to hear about it. :)

i went to the temple with my husband the other day and

the cute old man at the front desk asked me how married life was.

i smiled and told him it was going well.

he then asked me if matt was a fast learner.

i laughed and said he does pretty good.

then with a big smile on his face, he looked me straight in
the eyes and told me not to give up on him.

i laughed and promised him i wouldn't.

i keep thinking about that and how powerful that really is.

it's just us forever and ever. no matter what. never giving up.

it's a promise we will keep for the rest of eternity.
i like that.

our marriage isn't perfect but i was thinking about

things that make it happy.

some are random and some obvious but they work for us. :)

1. be patient. so my husband isn't totally incredible at a few certain things

but he will always rub my feet when they hurt, laugh at my stupid jokes,

 and put on his jacket before he even hangs up the phone to go help 

a stranded friend in the middle of a freezing cold night without even a second 

thought. but sometimes those things that he is not so incredible at are easier to
focus on. but we are in this for the long haul. relax and give it time. cause honestly.. 

i am pretty sure we are equal on the "you're driving me crazy" scale. i need to give him
and myself time to learn and develop into that cute old couple holding
hands in the park who always say cute things about each other.

they have earned that love. we'll get there someday. we just can't give up.
and being relaxed and patient makes the journey a lot more enjoyable.

2. choose to laugh. this sounds weird but it helps! the last thing i want

to do after a long stressful day is allow myself to laugh at something that

isn't really that funny. but if i just allow myself to laugh at my husband's
lame joke, myself, locking us out of the house again and 

watching my husband climb through a tiny window, or the dang dog hair
i have to vacuum up for the 4 billionth time, life becomes a lot happier and
easier to cope with. no matter how painful or "fake" it was at first, it started
coming easier and easier and now we laugh a lot. every single day.
and i like that.

3. your spouse is the hottest person who ever has lived, is living, 
and ever will live.

my husband told me when we were dating that he didn't want to hear which

celebrities i thought were attractive. at first i thought he was a little crazy, but

he doesn't ask for much, so i decided to go with it. i have come to LOVE it. i

know there are hotter people than me out there but for all i know, my husband

has no idea they exist. my mom used to ask us all the time if we were
"helping or hurting". hearing about how other people are attractive might
not really seem like a big deal but it's definitely not helping. at the
beginning i would catch myself almost saying something all the time
and now when i see girls googling over guys on pinterest or at the mall,
all i can think of is how dang good looking my husband is and how i am
lucky to have him. there may be sexier men out there but for all i know,
mine is #1. i am sure of it.

i am a firm believer that you can be as in love as you want to be.

you can train your mind to do anything. if i can learn and train my mind

to understand and pass my chemistry class, i can train my mind and heart

to love as deeply as i want to. but just like that chem class, it's going to take
a lot of time. i am still pretty new at this marriage thing when looking at the
big picture but if these things make us happy now,
they should work forever right?

i know this post was way too lengthy and if you are still reading, you are either
awesome or crazy or maybe both, hah but i just wanted to end on
one more cheesy note...

 i really do just love all the friends i meet when taking their pictures.
i get to see beautiful couples starting out their stories together and
families i can only hope and dream to be like someday. i always feel
like i learn something from them every single time i walk away from
a photo shoot. i have so much to learn and so far to go but i just
wanted to say thank you for inspiring me to be better.
don't ever give up on your beautiful families and keep on keeping on.

you guys rock. :)

i scored

there has been an empty box of oreos in our kitchen for a few days now.

i didn't want to come to terms with them being gone so i didn't throw it away.

but then i realized how ridiculous that was and decided to go through with it.

but then!! (this is where it gets good.)

there were THREE oreos left in it!

my husband saved them for ME!

seriously.. whatta guy!

oreos might not be a big deal to you.. 

but oh man this made my day.

that right there people.. 

is how you know you scored in the husband department.

happy tuesday everyone!

mmm

spring maybe?

the sun came out for a second today.

i drove around town with my windows down..

 in a short sleeve shirt..

 with my new camera. 

i was in heaven.

please be spring forever.

a break from love posts

oh but don't fret.. there will be more.

it snowed on me today..

but when it stopped for a second i looked over my shoulder and saw this.

i am not much of a landscape photographer but

i like being able to see the mountains and a teeeenytiny bit of blue in the sky.

spring will come to rexburg someday..

right?

things that made me smile today

an all green salad in a black bowl.

am i strange to think salads are beautiful?

my sweet vdub with a crazy cool sky.

this might look nasty ugly to you 

but to me this may just be the most beautiful thing i have ever seen.

the SNOW IS MELTING!!!

matt, travis and i went on a walk and this little guy kept following us.

like creeper status. 

we would walk for 5 min, turn around, he would see that we saw him, and then run back home.

over and over. 

i kinda love him.

[oh and look.. no snow in this picture. a miracle]

this doesn't make me so happy.

how do two people make SO many dishes?

i don't understand.

hope you guys are having a great sunday night.

what made you smile today?

no excuses

i remember i could not stop looking at my ring when i got engaged.

but after a while it becomes just another normal thing.

every once in a while though, i look down and fall in love with it all over again.

[this picture is me doing just that]

i love what it symbolizes and what it reminds me of.

i have decided that a marriage can be everything you've ever wanted it to be.

before i got married, i was always so worried about finding that perfect someone.

then i found him. 

but now we get to make this marriage into what we want it to be.

and it is 100 percent up to us.

scary/really awesome.

no excuses. be happy and in love no matter what. make the choice.

call me naive but i am in this for the long haul

and am going to do everything i possibly can to make it as wonderful as possible.

i mean.. why choose to be miserable right?

instead of getting frustrated with little annoyances so easily, 

i am going to laugh more.

and instead of being so wrapped up in day to day things,

i am going to lay a big fat one on him every time he walks through the front door.

laughing and kissing.. 

those are some pretty sweet goals right? :)

what are your goals/advice/ideas/ramblings on marriage/relationships?